Posts Tagged ‘dogs’

And so it begins

November 11, 2007

I know it’s winter, despite what the calendar says. I know because my hair stands on end when I pull my hood down, I shock the dog if we’re standing on carpet, I’ve switched from my Bath & Body body wash to my super-dry-skin Oil of Olay wash, and I have to put lotion on my hands to keep the skin from splitting.

I’m going to have to clear things away from the vents in my sewing room asap so I can turn the heat on back there. That room & my bathroom aren’t on the heating/cooling system with the rest of the house. The sewing room has its own system, and the bathroom has a heat fan in the ceiling.

Not only do I have projects to finish, but the animals’ food and water, and the cats’ litter box, are in that room, and they like to just hang out back there. I don’t want to sew in a freezing room, but more importantly, I don’t want them to have to hang out in a freezing room. Yes, yes, I know they have fur, but what’s wrong with wanting them to be warm?

On a completely unrelated topic, on Nov. 15 a bunch of people, including myself, will be posting about being “Invisible and Childfree.” There will be links to these posts at Purple Women & Friends. If you would like to participate, just e-mail Teri at Purple Women with the link to your post, so she can include you in the list.

Asstastic

October 28, 2007


Fall aftermath
Originally uploaded by Dani H.

That’s how I described my Sunday two weeks ago to my sister.

Our house is very asscentric. Mojo likes to show off his, Rusty gets his spanked when he’s bad, Rusty is obsessed with Mojo’s, I am currently obsessed with making normal poop come out of Neville’s (he’s got a diarrhea problem at the moment), Sugar is always looking to kick some, and I asked two friends at work to keep an eye on mine for a few days.

What?

I had a little mishap a couple weeks ago. I was sitting on a stepstool scooping Mojo & Sugar’s litter box, trying to pry a large clump free (what happened is karma for my not having scooped in a few days). I managed to topple myself backwards off the stool, landing on Rusty’s ceramic food dish, which already had a piece broken out of it.

I broke another piece off when I landed on it, which not only hurt but made me mad (imagine that). Obscenities were yelled, and I went back to scooping.

Dave came out to see what happened, so I told him what an idiot I was. He walked around behind me and said, “Uh, you’re bleeding!” I felt the spot, and sure enough, blood — and two little holes in my shorts — were found.

Scooping forgotten I went into the bathroom to check my wound and discovered that it looked like a vampire had latched onto my inner left ass cheek. Nice. (Side note: Do you know how hard it is to check something like that in a mirror? I can tell you: very.)

So I washed my wound (also not easy) and tried to stop the bleeding. Tried being the operative word. I didn’t think it would ever stop! At one point I thought it had stopped, so I rinsed out the washcloth really good, checked the injury, and found blood running down my leg. Also nice.

I started to get worried, and declared that “No way in hell am I getting stitches in my ass today.” Dave came in after the bleeding had slowed down and said it didn’t look like it needed stitches anyway.

I eventually finished the scooping (very carefully) and then it was time to shower for work. Hot water on cuts: Ouch. Body wash on cuts: Ouch. Shampoo on cuts: Ouch.

So, that’s why I had two friends watching my ass. I just wanted a little heads up if the bleeding started again.

Something to sneeze at

October 7, 2006

I told MB I’d tell Vegas stories, didn’t I? That’s funny, because I don’t have any wild or crazy ones, or even ones people might find interesting. Oh well, you can skip them if you want.

We stayed at the Imperial Palace, and you know what? They really give you the feeling that they just don’t give a damn since the place is being torn down in a year or whatever. If you’re going to Vegas before the Palace is torn down, I would recommend that you do not stay there. I can’t even give an example of the lack of caring, it was just the whole experience.

The monorail, which wasn’t built yet the last time we were out, is great! $15 for a 24-hour pass, it goes up and down the strip, it’s air conditioned, you don’t have to fight strip traffic or pay an arm and a leg for a taxi … like I said, it’s great!

The wedding went off without a hitch, the bride and groom looked beautiful, the chapel was nice, the minister was jolly, the photographer was kind of wacky, and I got to show my boobs to Las Vegas. I think the word Joy used to describe the bridesmaids’ dresses was “boobilicious,” and they sure were! But that’s OK, it was Vegas!

Dave and I ate dinner at Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill at Harrah’s, and I was in heaven. Toby Keith = awesome, and his music was everywhere, and there was a gift shop, and the food was good, so we’ll definitely be going there the next time we’re in LV.

We also went to the Star Trek Experience at the Hilton, and that was pretty neat. It’s kind of expensive, but there’s lots of memorabilia to look at and there are two short show kind of things to do. And, of course, a gift shop. Even if you’re not a hard-core Trekkie but like the shows, I think it’s worth doing.

The last time we were in LV I got a (fake diamond) ring at the Scarab Shop in the Luxor, and I got one this past time, too. I’ve decided that that’s going to be my LV “thing,” getting a ring at that shop whenever we’re there. How girly!

OK, that was August … last month Kim, Mom and I went to the Yankee Peddler festival thingy, and that was pretty fun. So many cool crafty things! Pottery, jewelry, metalworks, herbs, candles … I spent a good chunk of change, but I did actually restrain myself. We’ve decided to make it an annual outing, but if the bagpiper stalks us again next fall, I’m going to have to take him out.

Also last month Dave finally went to an allergist, which is where the title of this post comes in. He woke up unable to breathe several weeks ago, and thought maybe he should see somebody. (I won’t point out that when he got his FULL health coverage a couple years ago I suggested visiting an allergist.) As it turns out, Dave’s not just allergic to grass or some plants; he maybe should be living in a bubble. The list is: trees – elm, ash, walnut, pines and cotwood (cottonwood?); weeds – cockelbur, ragweed, pig weed, mugwort, English plantain, marsh elder, Russian thistle, and a couple abbreviated things that I can’t figure out; dust mites; and, are you ready for this? Dogs (a little) and cats (a lot)!

How fun is that? (not very) I’m trying to do better at cleaning the house, but it’s not working all that well. The animals are no longer allowed in our bedroom, and the cats are PISSED OFF about that one, let me tell you. And Dave now has to take medicine and has to get shots for the next five years. He has to get one in each arm once a week, but I guess the frequency will lessen over time. But then, when it’s all done, hopefully he’ll be immune to the allergens.

In less interesting news, I won a gourd-decorating contest at work. I may get around to taking a picture of it sometime, and if I do, I’ll post it so you can marvel at the pathetic-ness that is my artistic ability.

The new Dani, now cast-free!

October 25, 2005

Yes, I’ve been cast-free for just over a week now, and it’s so wonderful! I’ve never looked forward to washing my face and hair as much as I did the day after it came off. And no, the arm wasn’t stinky, but there sure was a lot of nasty, flaky dry skin in there. But I got to wash the arm and hand there in the room right after the cast came off, which was very nice.

I don’t have full range of motion, and it hurts if the wrist gets forced too far back, forward, or to the side, but it’s getting better.

So, here’s how it happened: My parents had been up that day and we all went to the county fair and had a lovely time. When they left, I took Rusty out since he’d been cooped up all day. It was about 8 p.m. and the ‘rents hadn’t even been gone 10 minutes.

Rusty was all crazed because my parents had been here, so he was running around like a lunatic. I was standing at the end of the sidewalk, and I was going to hop over his chain as he ran past so it wouldn’t burn my ankles for the second time that day.

I didn’t time it right.

The chain yanked my feet out from under me, and the next thing I knew I was sprawled face-down in the yard with a very painful nose and left wrist.

And of course, since I was laying on the ground, I wanted to play with Rusty, who was all over me. Obscene things were shouted, Dave came running over from the garage, and then my nose started bleeding so we went inside.

The great debate over going to the hospital began after the bleeding stopped, and I REALLY didn’t want to go, so we decided to ice it and see what happened. (I was hoping for just a sprain)

Well, around midnight I decided maybe we should take a trip to the ER. I got to tell the story of the evil beast many, many times, got x-rays taken, found out it was fractured, got a splint and some percoset, and went home very unhappy. I took the percoset, it made me nauseous and didn’t help the pain, so I went to bed even more unhappy.

Of course it was a holiday weekend, so I couldn’t go see the orthopedist until Tuesday, but I eventually got the lovely cast, and the next six weeks pretty much sucked ass. Now I have to go to physical therapy (but probably not for very long) and do “exercises” at home, which includes playing with a big wad of neon red silly putty-type stuff. And I have a little brace to wear in case I decide to do any lifting, which I can assure you will not happen. I wear it to bed though, because I’m paranoid I’ll do something bad to it in my sleep.

The end.

Not really worth the wait, was it?

No time for love, Dr. Jones

August 25, 2005

As usual, the promises to myself to be better about posting have not worked, but you know what, I just don’t care … so there! But MB told me to make with the blog, and I happened to have e-mailed a post to myself from work Tuesday night, so I’ll stop being lazy and post it.

I promised the story of Rusty’s last trip to the vet almost a month ago, and here it is.

Rusty had puked every day for almost a week, and he was doing this weird fake leg-lifting on the tree but not peeing thing (he wasn’t not peeing all the time so I didn’t know what to make of it), and he needed a new kennel cough vaccination, so we drove up to BG for a visit with Dr. Jones.

Well, eventually we went back to the examining room (there’s always a bit of a wait), and Dr. Jones asked me what exactly was going on, and I told him the “symptoms” and also that Dave was out of town and that Rusty hadn’t been eating as much as usual. Blah blah blah. Next thing I know, Dr. Jones has a rubber glove on and is getting out some gel and then, AND THEN, he stuck his finger up my dog’s ass!

Rusty did not take too kindly to this, and it took two assistants to hold him while Dr. Jones finished checking him out. And then, AND THEN, Rusty squatted and took a shit right there in the examining room. I was mortified! I said, “Oh Rusty” in an embarrassed voice, and Dr. Jones said, “Oh, that’s to be expected. I stimulated him.”

Well, if you’re OK with it, I guess I am too. But please don’t ever talk about stimulating my dog again, OK?

So, he says Rusty’s prostate is slightly enlarged, which is odd since he’s not even 2 years old, and that I should keep an eye on him, see if he gets better after Dave gets back, and go from there. Then it’s time for the vaccination, which gets sprayed up the nose. Dr. Jones starts heading for Rusty, who is leaning against my leg. As Dr. Jones gets closer, Rusty starts scooting his butt around behind me so Dr. Jones can’t get at it again. If I hadn’t felt so bad for him, I would have laughed my fool head off. But I laughed and laughed later, so don’t think I’m all nice and shit!

So he got his vaccine, we got some anti-nausea pills for him, paid and headed home. It was a very long day for both of us.

Next time: The 10-Year High School Reunion.

This is why I didn’t promise

July 28, 2005

Because all week I’ve had the computer to myself and this is only my second entry. You know why? ‘Cause I’m freakin’ tired, that’s why! Oh, and lazy.

The new editor started on Monday, and she’s very nice, and she likes country music, so I think we should keep her. Plus she’s somewhat familiar with our system, so that should be good too.

I got up early to take Rusty to the vet today, so I’m extra tired so I’m going to cut this very short. I’ll tell the vet story next time, and I would bet Rusty’s cookies that you’ll laugh.

Roundup

July 18, 2005

No, not the weed killer. A brief overview of recent events.

There’s still no word on the family friend that’s missing, aside from two people seeing him peek his head into a bar the Friday after he went missing. So, that makes things even weirder, in my opinion.

Rusty peed in the bedroom early Saturday morning (just before 2 a.m.) just as I was settling in to begin “Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” (HBP). I was quite pissed. He’s never done that before, and he’d better not do it ever again, or he’ll get the boot!

Went to the family cookout Saturday on about three hours of sleep, but I didn’t get too grouchy, surprisingly enough. It was nice to see everyone, and I even got to watch my parents, Dave, cousins, uncle, and other sundry people play cornhole and listen to lots of people make jokes pertaining to cornhole. We also listened to HBP on the way there and back, so the drive time didn’t take too much away from the finishing of the book.

Which, by the way, I did around 2:30 a.m. Saturday. I must say, I am really not happy with J.K. Rowling at this moment. Dave and I kept saying “I don’t like the way this book has started … I don’t have a good feeling about this …” Not that the book is bad, mind you, just, well, we didn’t like where we thought she was going with it. I kept hoping and hoping that what I thought was going to happen didn’t happen, but it did. I bawled my eyes out toward the end when *NAME WITHHELD* died. (And if I just spoiled things a bit for anyone, I apologize, but where the hell have you been? Don’t you read the papers? Rowling said ages ago that she was going to kill off another main character!)

Then today I got to go to work. Hooray! I also learned today that the little girl next door has started taking after her brother and repeatedly asking “What are you doing?” I can’t figure out though if she’s actually talking to the dog, or if she thinks my name is Rusty, or if she just calls both of us Rusty because she can’t remember my name, because she kept saying “Rusty, what are you doing?” or “What are you doing, Rusty?” She just turned 3 so who knows what’s in her head. But I am so looking forward to having two kids scream at me from their porch! Um, no, not so much.

My kind of holiday

July 5, 2005

I like Monday holidays, as we don’t have a Monday paper so I get Sunday off and have a real weekend. I did absolutely nothing productive on Saturday, which was lovely. On Sunday we pulled the weeds out of the one flowerbed we’ve done anything with, then planted some more flowers and put some mulch down. My legs are killing me from all the squatting, bending down, etc., but the flowers look nice. I got overheated though, so I had a headache most of the evening. I’m starting to think gardening is just too much damn work – let the weeds take over!

We did have another neighbor child incident Saturday, which ruined my laziness buzz. This time I had the dog outside and I was on the phone with Dave, trying to figure out what we were going to do for dinner (the Chinese restaurant we wanted take-out from was closed). I’m going through the phone book, and the neighbors get home. The little boy comes flying up to where we were, shouting as always, with a pencil with a shark head on the end, which he used to poke at and hit the dog. Then he threw the pencil at the dog into our yard, so Rusty grabbed it and ran off with it so he could eat it. Dave’s asking me if I want this or that at a different restaurant but I could hardly hear him. I told him to hold on because I had to get the kid’s toy from the dog so the dog didn’t eat it because he’d thrown it at Rusty, trying to say this loud enough so that the mother hears me. Then Dave and I hung up and I took the dog inside and slammed that door as hard as I could because DAMMIT PEOPLE I’M TIRED OF THIS!

What happens when the kid pokes my dog’s eye out because he doesn’t listen when you tell him not to hit or poke the dog with sticks? Do I get to sue them?

Anyway, mostly a nice, quiet holiday weekend. I guess that was to gear me up for the next two weeks at work – we’ll be down a person due to vacations both weeks, and we were last week too. But I’ll try not to complain too much, since I was just on vacation too.

Up on the roof

May 3, 2005

OK, here’s the Sugar Puddin’ story, as promised.

I was outside with the dog when I heard someone say, “Oh my god no! Get back here!” Rusty ran to the side of the house, so I thought it was the boy with the dog that runs loose, being scared because I’ve threatened to call the dog warden the next time that dog gets anywhere near Rusty. I went to the side of the house, no boy, no dog. I realized it was Dave that had said it, and that he was upstairs.

Then Dave says, “Dani! Sugar’s on the roof!” Well, that’s not a good thing! Luckily though, it’s a flat roof so she didn’t go skidding down anywhere. I backed up into the yard so that I could see the window where Dave was, and I see Sugar scrambling to get back in the window. She couldn’t get a foothold, so Dave pulled her back in.

Turns out, Dave was upstairs working and had the window open. Sugar is a big fan of sitting in open windows. She’s also a big fan of standing on her back legs to reach things between the window and the screen. There was a little hole in the screen, so we figure she was stretching up to play with the torn part, leaned too hard on the screen and fell out.

Dave said she was darting back and forth on the roof, looking over the side, trying to figure out what to do. Apparently she decided that even though she’s a very good jumper, she’s not good enough to make it through that landing.

I’m sure this story would have been much more amusing had I told it when it happened, as it was fresher, but that’s life. Between being grouchy and not feeling like getting online and Dave hogging the computer when I do feel like blogging … well, obviously, not a lot of posts. I’ll try to do better, I promise!

This stinks

December 16, 2004

I am such a scrooge this year – I can’t even begin to guess how many times I’ve muttered/said/shouted “I hate Christmas” or some variation on that in the last month or so. I’m sick of fighting crowds in stores and sitting in a parking lot just waiting to get in or out (or into the Bob Evans parking lot) and being told “I’m sorry, we don’t have that, but we can special order it” and having people look at me like I’m retarded when I ask about an item and driving all over the frigging state (or into Michigan) to go to a certain store. I’ll tell you what, whoever gets a gift from us this year had better act like it’s the best gift they ever got, or there’s going to be some serious problems.

Speaking of gifts, I’ve been making gifts for a couple people (which also has caused me great frustration at times, but I’ll get over it) and I had a most foul experience Saturday night while working on these projects. I was all settle in on the couch, crafting away, with Sugar Puddin’ curled up on the back of the couch and Rusty curled up on the floor at my feet, both of them asleep. All was good until the most horrific stink wafted up from the dog. It was so awful I couldn’t even concentrate on what I was doing … he gassed me out of the family room! I had to leave because trying to fan it away wasn’t working, and you can only hold your breath so long before you have to breathe again. It just amazes me how much more awful dog (and cat) farts are than human farts.

Dave and I are going to create a “Things Heard at Work That are Never Good” list, or maybe a “Things I Never Want to Hear at Work Again” list, something along those lines. If you’ve got something, e-mail it to me and we’ll add it. I’m not sure where it’ll end up, but it’ll probably be somewhere on the site. You’ll just have to wait and see.