Posts Tagged ‘injured’

Asstastic

October 28, 2007


Fall aftermath
Originally uploaded by Dani H.

That’s how I described my Sunday two weeks ago to my sister.

Our house is very asscentric. Mojo likes to show off his, Rusty gets his spanked when he’s bad, Rusty is obsessed with Mojo’s, I am currently obsessed with making normal poop come out of Neville’s (he’s got a diarrhea problem at the moment), Sugar is always looking to kick some, and I asked two friends at work to keep an eye on mine for a few days.

What?

I had a little mishap a couple weeks ago. I was sitting on a stepstool scooping Mojo & Sugar’s litter box, trying to pry a large clump free (what happened is karma for my not having scooped in a few days). I managed to topple myself backwards off the stool, landing on Rusty’s ceramic food dish, which already had a piece broken out of it.

I broke another piece off when I landed on it, which not only hurt but made me mad (imagine that). Obscenities were yelled, and I went back to scooping.

Dave came out to see what happened, so I told him what an idiot I was. He walked around behind me and said, “Uh, you’re bleeding!” I felt the spot, and sure enough, blood — and two little holes in my shorts — were found.

Scooping forgotten I went into the bathroom to check my wound and discovered that it looked like a vampire had latched onto my inner left ass cheek. Nice. (Side note: Do you know how hard it is to check something like that in a mirror? I can tell you: very.)

So I washed my wound (also not easy) and tried to stop the bleeding. Tried being the operative word. I didn’t think it would ever stop! At one point I thought it had stopped, so I rinsed out the washcloth really good, checked the injury, and found blood running down my leg. Also nice.

I started to get worried, and declared that “No way in hell am I getting stitches in my ass today.” Dave came in after the bleeding had slowed down and said it didn’t look like it needed stitches anyway.

I eventually finished the scooping (very carefully) and then it was time to shower for work. Hot water on cuts: Ouch. Body wash on cuts: Ouch. Shampoo on cuts: Ouch.

So, that’s why I had two friends watching my ass. I just wanted a little heads up if the bleeding started again.

The new Dani, now cast-free!

October 25, 2005

Yes, I’ve been cast-free for just over a week now, and it’s so wonderful! I’ve never looked forward to washing my face and hair as much as I did the day after it came off. And no, the arm wasn’t stinky, but there sure was a lot of nasty, flaky dry skin in there. But I got to wash the arm and hand there in the room right after the cast came off, which was very nice.

I don’t have full range of motion, and it hurts if the wrist gets forced too far back, forward, or to the side, but it’s getting better.

So, here’s how it happened: My parents had been up that day and we all went to the county fair and had a lovely time. When they left, I took Rusty out since he’d been cooped up all day. It was about 8 p.m. and the ‘rents hadn’t even been gone 10 minutes.

Rusty was all crazed because my parents had been here, so he was running around like a lunatic. I was standing at the end of the sidewalk, and I was going to hop over his chain as he ran past so it wouldn’t burn my ankles for the second time that day.

I didn’t time it right.

The chain yanked my feet out from under me, and the next thing I knew I was sprawled face-down in the yard with a very painful nose and left wrist.

And of course, since I was laying on the ground, I wanted to play with Rusty, who was all over me. Obscene things were shouted, Dave came running over from the garage, and then my nose started bleeding so we went inside.

The great debate over going to the hospital began after the bleeding stopped, and I REALLY didn’t want to go, so we decided to ice it and see what happened. (I was hoping for just a sprain)

Well, around midnight I decided maybe we should take a trip to the ER. I got to tell the story of the evil beast many, many times, got x-rays taken, found out it was fractured, got a splint and some percoset, and went home very unhappy. I took the percoset, it made me nauseous and didn’t help the pain, so I went to bed even more unhappy.

Of course it was a holiday weekend, so I couldn’t go see the orthopedist until Tuesday, but I eventually got the lovely cast, and the next six weeks pretty much sucked ass. Now I have to go to physical therapy (but probably not for very long) and do “exercises” at home, which includes playing with a big wad of neon red silly putty-type stuff. And I have a little brace to wear in case I decide to do any lifting, which I can assure you will not happen. I wear it to bed though, because I’m paranoid I’ll do something bad to it in my sleep.

The end.

Not really worth the wait, was it?

Still here

September 16, 2005

Still broken, and still without the VR program, so maybe this weekend I’ll light a fire under Dave to help me with that. Sorry, but that’s all. It takes too fucking long to type anything, and I ramble, so no more at the moment.

Fractured

September 4, 2005

My wrist, that is. Luckily it’s the left one, so I can still write and use the mouse. We have a voice recognition program, so when we get me set up with that, I’ll tell the story. Big surprise, the dog is involved.

One-handed typing is for the birds.